READING
Local Grocers and Supermarkets
Local
Grocers and Supermarkets
Insert
the missing words.
|
Heard,
build, buy, who, been, can, to, small, may, word, his, lose, our, when,
me, looked, sell, money, sorry, shop, food, afraid, afford, lower, shall,
supermarket, with |
Fill in the missing words.
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Fill in the missing words.
Interactive text & multiple choice exercise
Interactive text & multiple choice exercise
I am a
flea-market vendor, and people often try to negotiate prices with me. One woman
who wanted to buy an electric can opener tagged at $5 told me she had only
$2.50, so I reluctantly agreed to sell it to her for that price.
She then opened her purse and handed me a $10 bill.
Near cash-register penny cup, ”If you fear change, leave it here.”
My
mother enjoys shopping at those dollar stores where almost everything costs just
a buck. Recently Mom commented to a cashier that she loves shopping at the store
when she is depressed because you can buy so much for so little. When the
cashier rang up her purchases and the total came to “99.58, a woman behind her
quipped, ”You must have been on the verge of suicide!”
Marquee outside a large building-supply store in Utah:
“If it’s in stock, we’ve got it!”
It’s all relative
At the supermarket, I realized I was in an express
line. The next line was cash only, and the next for the disabled. In the fourth
line, just to be sure, I asked the clerk,” You’re nothing special, are
you?”
“Well, “ she replied,” my father thinks I am.”
A fellow walked into a drugstore and headed to the back
to speak with the pharmacist. “Do you have anything for hiccups?” he asked.
Without warning, the pharmacist reached over and smacked the man on the
shoulder.
“Did that help?” he asked.
“I
don’t know, the startled man replied. ”I’ll have to ask my wife. She’s
waiting in the car.”
“Your hair wants cutting badly, sir,” said a barber
to a customer.
“No, it doesn’t,” replied the man in the chair, “it wants cutting
nicely. You cut it badly last time.”
Client,” I want a suit made. But very fast if it’s
possible.”
Tailor,” It will be ready in a month.”
Client,” In a month? God created the whole world in a week!”
Tailor,” In a week, you say. And you like it?”
While I was working in the men’s section of a
department store, a woman asked me to help her choose a white dress shirt for
her husband. When I asked about his size, the woman looked stumped at first.
Then her face brightened.
She held up her hands, forming a circle with her forefingers and thumbs. “ I
don’t know his size,” she said, “ but my hands fit perfectly around his
neck.”
Bev and her husband were reshingling their roof. As
soon as they started, they realised they needed more supplies, so Bev grabbed
the checkbook, jumped into her car and drove 45 miles to the nearest lumberyard.
After gathering the items she needed, Bev went up to the cashier and wrote out a
check. “I really need to see a photo ID,” the clerk said.
“I don’t have one on me,” Bev replied.
The cashier called over the manager, who examined the check. Then the manager
looked up and asked Bev, “Who is the Avon lady in your town?”
Puzzled, Bev responded, ”Maxine Thompson.”
“Take her check, “ the smiling manager said to the cashier. “Maxine is my
grandmother.”
There were only two people in line ahead of me at the
electronics store, yet the wait was dragging on forever. Finally the customer
behind me muttered, “Mr. Hare must be on vocation.”
Only then did I notice the name tag on the man at the register. It read, ”Mr.
Turtle, sales associate.”
While at marine-supply store stocking up on equipment
for my boat, I also purchased an inflatable life preserver. “It was my
wife’s idea, “ I explained to the grizzled salesman at the counter.
”She’s buying it for me as a gift.”
“Lucky you, “he said as he started to write up the order. “My wife got me
a length of chain and a cement block.”
A couple came into a dealer-shop and picked out a car
they wanted to purchase. When negotiations on the price came to a stand-still,
the dealer was called in to try to close a deal.
“We live on a limited income,” the husband kept insisting. “We can’t
afford to pay that much money.”
The dealer quoted their best price in writing, and no one spoke for several
minutes. Then the wife moved the paper he had placed in front of them.
Noticing this, the dealer complimented her on an exquisite diamond ring she was
wearing.
As the husband finally picked up a pen to sign the purchase agreement, he
mumbled to her,” Why didn’t you leave that ring at home?”
Scott is an insurance agent, and almost everyone on his
wife’s side of the family uses his services.
When his oldest sister-in-law married, she, too, decided to switch her policies
to the company Scott works for.
The
day he completed her paperwork, Scott proudly announced to his wife, “ I
finally finished off your sister’s tenant insurance and auto policies. And
when she came to my office today, “ he continued, “ I finished off her
life.”
Sew Clever
One day we saw a news report on TV about the owner of a
large craft store and one of her employees, who apprehended a would-be thief and
held him captive until police arrived to arrest him.
As we listened to the story, our grandson commented dryly,” What did they do,
hold him at needlepoint?”
Molly and her friend run a kids’ clothing consignment
sale twice a year called ”Duck, Duck, Goose,” after popular children’s
game. One time they advertised their sale in the local newspaper, and Molly
checked to make sure it appeared on the front page of the classifieds as they
requested. It wasn’t there.
She started looking through the section, worried that it hadn’t run at all.
Finally she found it in the “Livestock” listings. It was placed beneath the
category titled “Poultry.”
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